I WOULD FUCK YOU!!!🖤

I’ve been thinking about this post’s title for a while now.We both know that y’all are going have first impressions🌚 based on what you see.But oh well today I had to disregard that!!Sometimes you need to dig a little deeper and not just something but what you see…Just saying🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes I do care about your opinions …I mean I always ask how you think I should improve my posts and all but naaah!!!Today I’ll ignore that because those are the only words in my head right now.So bear with me and try to see where I’m going with this.

First of all hey!!!🤗🤗How are ya!😉(Say it in Peter Griffin’s tone…very few will get this…oh well)😂😂I love this guy!!!

Anyway,I rarely say hey like generally even to my friends or people I’m used to. I’m not mean 🐥okay maybe a little but for the longest time I’ve always assumed stuff.Assumed oh he’s just fine..I mean I just saw him yesterday or oh what need is there to say hey when I can see your breathing just fine.

Yes shame on me!!Shaame!!(lol tbt to Cersei’s walk of shame)😫I miss G.O.T.Oh my God time is flying af!!It’s been what?Five months since I posted?Mehn!!I have no excuse but oh well here I am.Let’s get this show on the road.

Okay so back to my storo😌Those words(my title)were actually said to me by a girl👀 and are probably the only words that stood out most to me on that night.😂😂Oh God don’t get this wrong.I’ll tell you why.Here was a group of girls having a good time on a girls night out. First off!!☝🏼We were standing in the cold!!Unajua venye wasichana wanakuanga na mamoods aki.Hata nguvu ya kupeana complements sijui ilitoka wapi.We were supposed to be complaining of how it was taking so damn long to get into the damn club but naah!!!Instead it became an endless session of throwing complements as we acknowledged how we rarely did this.The funny thing was despite how fun the night was and how the events would be blurry the following morning that particular moment was so crystal clear to me.So that’s why I’m writing this at 2.00pm on my bed rather than the usual 2am that I’m always used to.(When I’m really woke!!)

So here I am!!!Finally writing !!!🥂🍾Who knew this would resuscitate me!

Coincidentally, what sermon did I listen to after?It was a sermon called Healing words.How words could have so much meaning in someone’s life but we never realize it.We always ASSUME (lol!!see what I did there)😂how someone is doing okay how they probably know they’re beautiful…how they know that you love them.But then again what do we lose If we constantly tell them🤔🤔Nothing bruh nadda!!💯💯

You see the thing about we humans…is that we are very susceptible to forgetting.Sometimes life takes a ton on us and some things increasingly become insignificant or we probably never have time for them.But then why do we forget that those words oh you smell great this morning or oh you’re so smart have such great meaning to someone else.No no don’t get me wrong.There’s a difference between knowing your worth by not basing it on people’s opinions but there’s also great great power in reminding people of their good.

I feel like our current world has become so heartless(me included😕)that only savage comments are praised!That we would rush our eyes to see nasty comments and bashes on people’s turmoil but when they prosper we do not want to acknowledge it.We don’t want to congratulate them!!!😂I love this song btw…by Post Malone.

That’s just crap mahn that’s just crap!!If you can’t appreciate someone elses success how then will you succeed?Aren’t we meant to build each other!!!😫😫why why did we forget that we all start somewhere and you can’t rise higher without holding each other’s hands.When did we become so absorbed into our egotistic selves that we forgot to be thankful of those we have around us and what we have.

So I decided to say no to assumptions from now henceforth.Lol!!!You should have seen how surprised my boyfriend was when I told him I think he’s hot!!I mean daaa!!I always thought he knew that!He was like you never say that.I just said it.And yes you who is reading this I think you’re beautiful.I probably may not know you but I know you mean a lot to someone even If the person hasn’t said it yet.You define your own beauty.That black spot that developed under your lip!!(lol this is me)Is beautiful!!!It’s what makes you different from Kyra or Anastasia or anyone else.And yes I know you don’t need to be told you’re beautiful for you to know!!!I say fuck it!!!That’s what we try to make ourselves believe!!

YOU NEED TO BE ‘REMINDED‘ you are.You need to be reminded that yes its not fine now but keep pushing it will be okay eventually.You need to be told that you’re smart because you came up with that answer even If its the first time you found an answer.No one else did!!!So you’re smart in that regard.

You need to be reminded that even though you’re not the best dancer…I would sit down to watch you dance because you make my days!!!Even If your voice sucks as hell…the intent and meaning with which you sing the song surpasses all vocal pains my ears would have to bear…😂(Shiiiit😱 I’m becoming deep…😂Lorraine I know you will comment on this)

What better way is there to spend this short life than with the people who make you happy.

I rarely tell my mum I love her!!Honestly I rarely tell anyone what I feel.I guess that has to change.

I LOVE YOU MARY MUTHONI❤️❤️❤️(my mum)Even If I thought you always knew that.

I really hope this made sense to someone just even one person!!And If you’d like to throw a shout out to someone on my comments go ahead!!❤️

🤗and thank you for all those who’ve supported me in my blogging and generally everything.

I gatchu👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻

But most especially

God loves you💕💞

~Melissa~

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Chained to the rhythm 🐣

😹Okay here’s the thing I tend to overthink on almost everything so just allow me to.The title of this post has no relation with the literal(notice this) meaning of the lyrics of Katy Perry’s song.😂😂Uhm alright I’ve actually been humming the song for days now…that could be part of the reason…buuuuut in my defense I saw it fit for this post because am actually chained to a particular rhythm hence my inability to enjoy worship songs from anywhere else aside from my former school.Aaargh what the heck just read the damn post and don’t mind me…

Honestly I hope you grasp sth from the post😊😊

STARTIIIING NOW…1,2,3,😂

I was in a middle of this convo that had me  frenzied so hard…😂😂like umewahi chat na mtu hadi unashindwa kukimbia uende loo!!I swear I was at that kaplace…Anyway not that am rarely ever not with my phone at hand laughing at memes or looking for people to disturb…

So…it was actually on a Friday when my phone buzzed.A reminder was what I saw😮.Haiya that we had kesha kwa church yetu on that day.Woaaa…I had totally forgotten about that storo!!😱So the reminder caught me rather offguard.Aaah then it hit me on the Sunday when they had mentioned it would be a night of praise and worship…and damn right that caught my attention.

If there’s one thing I live for…is worship.Very few might understand me…but If you’ve been a Quabberian(Moi Girls Schl Nrb)..”btw ka hujui shule yetu and your Kenyan toka hapa😒”😂😂(geez am just kidding…no need to stop scrolling down through this post)😘😘😘you would comprehend how our Sunday worships were mind blowing,rejuvenating,heart warming…😭😭😭I think I prefer the feeling compared to how it feels when eating really and I mean reeeeaaaally good cake😧🙉

Lemme see how I can break it down to you.. there was this sort of harmony.I still try to figure out how more than 1000 girls would harmonize  their songs and oh have something so beautiful 😍😍come out of it.Honestly…most occasions I’ve been to..its a struggle hata for 5 people kukuwa na harmony. Like kuna ule mwenye ako offtune..😭mwingine hajui lyrics za wimbo…another..aaargh I think you get my point.

😹😹lol I went for the kesha btw.  waah si I have digressed..I apologise…life is full of digressions btw😂😂Aaaaand…😧I ended up sitting during most part of the worship.We could say I got a little disappointed.

😭😭😭why you ask.I felt dry.I felt thirsty for the harmony…for the elevating feeling that makes you have this wonderful spiritual encounter with God but it didn’t come.I almost swear I would go back to high school..just to have a feel of the Moi Girls Sunday service.The dances for each song.The joy in actually singing.The worship songs that were played out for us during prayer!!!😭😭😭😭I don’t know If I will ever experience it again😫but I would give anything to feel it.Have you ever sang a song with someone then they blend in so well😹😹you love the song even more..Christ!!!I donno If you’re feeling me in here!!But that is what I yearned for.

I actually came to the conclusion that harmony is one of the greatest things…not just harmony in song but having some sort of natural understanding with someone yaani you just click!blend might I say…Like you will require very minimal energy to interact with that person.You know those guys you converse with even in silence…I tell ya my peeps..those are keepers.You don’t just come by them everyday.Those guys who your just in sync…Yea big shout out to them!!!

And yes❤❤❤worship has always been a number one for me.😫How else can we even begin to thank God for His greatness,His grace…His love, His mercy,His favour…Yes…wooorship!!!!He deserves all the praise and worship

Ju ya hiyo storo😂😂worship lovers please tell me you’ve listened to “God of Hills and Valleys”by Tauren Wells..Thaaaaaaat soooong😱is in a whole other dimension:)🎼🎼👌👌

😫and I truly hope I will find euphony close to the one I had..I really do😔
Peaceful elections😊😊fellow Kenyans…

Four years of experience😊



So here we were,seated on my bed as she stuttered her way through her conversion.
“Ch…ch..chicha(❤She can’t pronounce Melissa vizuri)😂until recently when her mum took almost a day to teach her how to pronounce it well.Now she calls me Meeeeyyyysa😂,😭I miss Chicha though cause there was a way she said it that made me feel like some sort of ninja or teacher😌.Plus no one has ever gone to that extreme with my name.

😂Hey ma peeps…I apologise for going MIA🚶,I honestly don’t have any valid reason,I just needed a little bit of inspiration to come back.So here I am:-)I’ve missed this:the writing,your views ,your questions…I truly have.😍

So I know your wondering who the subject of this kastory of mine is.Tereeeen tereeen😂It might be you,you ,you…anyway her name is Nelius…we normally call her Nelly.She’s in my inner circle of best friends which FYI is very competitive😂😂so with all my specifications,you can imagine how perfecto she is.Nelly is four years old😌(yes nambari nne)and she happens to be my neighbour’s kid.

😧I can’t narrow down how our story began per se because the last time I checked I wasn’t quite a fan of kids until a new me was born.Now kids just melt me up😭😭Who did this to me?🙉

😂I do recall something though…my mum was her best friend before I snatched her away😼for good..now all my mum does is wonder in amusement how fast I did it(Beware!!!😼😼😂😂snatcher alert)

Anywho,our relationship grew pole pole from watching animations together to going to the shop pamoja to buying each other gifts.You know this trend naaaaao,I don’t think I need to lay it all out.

Thing is😂am not here to tell you about my solid relationship with a four year old😜I am here to tell you WHY.The question which all and sundry has been asking…

  • She is probably the most authentic person I have come across,which is very rare to find.

😂Chillax msicatch!I’m not saying you’re fake!That’s up to you to decide but I’m saying she doesn’t feel accustomed to hide some things and filter out others like how I do(Lemme speak for self).For instance,she was watching me apply lipstick and quickly blurted out😂”na mbona hupaki cutex?!”.Honestly my nail polish had really chipped off but you see no one would dare tell me,”Oh Melissa,you have really neglected your nails!”aside from Nelly.I yearn for that in relationships:authenticity.Tell me as it is…si kunipeleka kwa roundabouts sijui za wapi.Tell me If I pissed you off the other day …🙍don’t just avoid me and hold spite yet the other person is not aware.🙍oh well maybe that’s just me

  • She taught me that we all go through some sort of shit no matter how large or small,regardless of who we are.

😂I am almost certain unashangaa mtoto hupitia shida gani sasa na anafanyiwa kila kitu.Oh trust me they got issues.Nelly recently got a brother😭😭Really cute boy called Damian.😂now now now her facial expression could tell it all.She had a mixture of feelings alright.She was happy that she now had someone to play with aside from me😝but she was also outraged.Outraged by the fact that her mum only paid attention to Damian.So the following morning she was up on our door complaining to me how Damian has just been crying the whole night and how she felt left out.She also complained that her ‘funds’ were now becoming minimal because the budget was a little pricy.😂Lemme expound.Nelly is always given Sh.5 everyday to buy ‘chyuungum’so this sudden change was taking a ton on her.

“Ch…chi..cha…sinaaa…p..p..esa leo…ni weewe unanuuunua”So this issue had been stressing her for a while now.Point is,sometimes we think we are the only ones going through hell or probably our hell is worse than someone elses.However,I should come to terms with the fact that the world doesn’t revolve only around me and oh well😂😂shit does happen.


Oh I forgot to mention..😖Nelly stammers a lot so I purposed to engage her in lots of conversations to help her out.Her resilience is what I admire the most though.Whether her sentence or words will finally come out after five minutes,she never gives up.She always ensures her point is driven home.

Rarely are we like that.Rarely am I like that.Honestly If I try doing something and it backfires for the first time,even with the Thomas Edison or Abraham Lincoln enthusiasm in me..I’m always crying why.😓Nelly makes me realise how sometimes things are never easy but God can’t give you what you can’t handle.Right?

According to her all children are toto😂.I recently asked her to give me names of her classmates at her day care..and they were all referred to as toto.😓Is it possible for me to refer to everyone as toto?😂Okay daaaa!not literally but maybe not segregrate them according to this and that.(judge)I am trying to be a better person you know?

😑What need is there to live the same way for all these years?Like noo!!!Be a dancer tomorrow,a singer the next or even a writer the other.Live life!!!Live it like your last right?

Make mistakes,correct them😂like am doing…become a better you like Joel Osteen put it😘

And so the answer to your question…she inspires me to become a better me.Everytime she throws praises😂about Chicha to her whole clan,I feel a tingle of joy in my heart.That there’s someone out there who actually looks up to me.Every time she asks me why is this that way or when I cook and she’s like😂(unajua kupika niongezee)😜😜😂am an awesome cook btw(wink wink) 

However, point is,I think friends should push you to move out of your comfort zone and guess what …this four year old does just that!!!!

Four years of experience😊




So here we were,seated on my bed as she stuttered her way through her conversion.
“Ch…ch..chicha(❤She can’t pronounce Melissa vizuri)😂until recently when her mum took almost a day to teach her how to pronounce it well.Now she calls me Meeeeyyyysa😂,😭I miss Chicha though cause there was a way she said it that made me feel like some sort of ninja or teacher😌.Plus no one has ever gone to that extreme with my name.

😂Hey ma peeps…I apologise for going MIA🚶,I honestly don’t have any valid reason,I just needed a little bit of inspiration to come back.So here I am:-)I’ve missed this:the writing,your views ,your questions…I truly have.😍

So I know your wondering who the subject of this kastory of mine is.Tereeeen tereeen😂It might be you,you ,you…anyway her name is Nelius…we normally call her Nelly.She’s in my inner circle of best friends which FYI is very competitive😂😂so with all my specifications,you can imagine how perfecto she is.Nelly is four years old😌(yes nambari nne)and she happens to be my neighbour’s kid.

😧I can’t narrow down how our story began per se because the last time I checked I wasn’t quite a fan of kids until a new me was born.Now kids just melt me up😭😭Who did this to me?🙉

😂I do recall something though…my mum was her best friend before I snatched her away😼for good..now all my mum does is wonder in amusement how fast I did it(Beware!!!😼😼😂😂snatcher alert)

Anywho,our relationship grew pole pole from watching animations together to going to the shop pamoja to buying each other gifts.You know this trend naaaaao,I don’t think I need to lay it all out.

Thing is😂am not here to tell you about my solid relationship with a four year old😜I am here to tell you WHY.The question which all and sundry has been asking…

  • She is probably the most authentic person I have come across,which is very rare to find.

😂Chillax msicatch!I’m not saying you’re fake!That’s up to you to decide but I’m saying she doesn’t feel accustomed to hide some things and filter out others like how I do(Lemme speak for self).For instance,she was watching me apply lipstick and quickly blurted out😂”na mbona hupaki cutex?!”.Honestly my nail polish had really chipped off but you see no one would dare tell me,”Oh Melissa,you have really neglected your nails!”aside from Nelly.I yearn for that in relationships:authenticity.Tell me as it is…si kunipeleka kwa roundabouts sijui za wapi.Tell me If I pissed you off the other day …🙍don’t just avoid me and hod spite yet the other person is not aware.🙍oh well maybe that’s just me

  • She taught me that we all go through some sort of shit no matter how large or small,regardless of who we are.

😂I am almost certain unashangaa mtoto hupitia shida gani sasa na anafanyiwa kila kitu.Oh trust me they got issues.Nelly recently got a brother😭😭Really cute boy called Damian.😂now now now her facial expression could tell it all.She had a mixture of feelings alright.She was happy that she now had someone to play with aside from me😝but she was also outraged.Outraged by the fact that her mum only paid attention to Damian.So the following morning she was up on our door complaining to me how Damian has just been crying the whole night and how she felt left out.She also complained that her ‘funds’ were now becoming minimal because the budget was a little pricy.😂Lemme expound.Nelly is always given Sh.5 everyday to buy ‘chyuungum’so this sudden change was taking a ton on her.

“Ch…chi..cha…sinaaa…p..p..esa leo…ni weewe unanuuunua”So this issue had been stressing her for a while now.Point is,sometimes we think we are the only ones going through hell or probably our hell is worse than someone elses.However,I should come to terms with the fact that the world doesn’t revolve only around me and oh well😂😂shit does happen.


Oh I forgot to mention..😖Nelly stammers a lot so I purposed to engage her in lots of conversations to help her out.Her resilience is what I admire the most though.Whether her sentence or words will finally come out after five minutes,she never gives up.She always ensures her point is driven home.

Rarely are we like that.Rarely am I like that.Honestly If I try doing something and it backfires for the first time,even with the Thomas Edison or Abraham Lincoln enthusiasm in me..I’m always crying why.😓Nelly makes me realise how sometimes things are never easy but God can’t give you what you can’t handle.Right?

According to her all children are toto😂.I recently asked her to give me names of her classmates at her day care..and they were all referred to as toto.😓Is it possible for me to refer to everyone as toto?😂Okay daaaa!not literally but maybe not segregrate them according to this and that.(judge)I am trying to be a better person you know?

😑What need is there to live the same way for all these years?Like noo!!!Be a dancer tomorrow,a singer the next or even a writer the other.Live life!!!Live it like your last right?

Make mistakes,correct them😂like am doing…become a better you like Joel Osteen put it😘

And so the answer to your question…she inspires me to become a better me.Everytime she throws praises😂about Chicha to her whole clan,I feel a tingle of joy in my heart.That there’s someone out there who actually looks up to me.Every time she asks me why is this that way or when I cook and she’s like😂(unajua kupika niongezee)😜😜😂am an awesome cook btw(wink wink) 

However point is,I think friends should push you to move out of your comfort zone and guess what …this four year old does just that!!!!

I FINALLY DID!😜

It’s freaking 1.30 am and I have no ounce of sleep.Like fuck🙀!Nowadays I just stare at the ceiling and start thinking of everything and nothing then arrrgh when my sleep comes at around 5 am, my alarm goes off.It’s becoming really annoying so let me do what I do best…vent through my writing.Scream my fears,my hopes,dreams and joys out.
Soooo…after being convinced and made fun of(Mauteri I will definitely mention you😑)(zile memes zote ulitengeneza …😫kuniaibisha)for not watching the so renowned series,”Game of Thrones”,I finally  took the matter into my own hands.

It was actually raining on the day I started the series marathon. I was coiled up in bed with my pair of shorts on,(tihihihi I looove shorts), socks in tow, covered up with a Maasai kikoi accompanied with a cup of coffee ☕(addict)at the side.These are my best moments📺🎬 I swear🙆.The ‘Games’ began alright.With the trend am taking,I think I should be a movie blogger or something but oh what the heck.

Now now now😂am not here to talk about the series per se but am here to tell you a few things I gathered.You must probably realise that am a very observant person👀loool!😂am also very ignorant,let’s just say I like acquiring lessons from whatever experiences.

Mhm, devoting every single day to this particular series and actually not seeing the outside world💪(like for real!) was no joke but it was damn right worth it.I fell in love 👱with Arya Stark ,the moment I saw her with all her bravado.I have a thing for women or girls who fight to be recognised.😉Those who go out of their way to try the unthinkable and when she convinced her dad to let her have ‘sword lessons’I adored her.Oh and when she defended herself from Joffrey…I was smirking like something else😼😼.Like who the hell did he think he was stepping on others like dirt just cause…He totally deserved the hand bite😈🐺

Lesson one:Do not let anyone and I mean ANYONE underestimate you based on your size, background,appearance…blah blah to hell with them.🚮🚮🚮

I say this because am short (😂mfupi)and it took me a while to actually accept it or love myself for it.😂😂Aii mimi nilikuwa nataka kukuwa na long sexy legs…so my bestie(Sheba😘😘😘) and I always complained how we looked like kids…bunch of pricks even mistook us for primary school kids yet we were adults😂😂.We even googled ways of becoming taller.Okay story for another day but you get my point.

If I told you that Tyrion is not my favorite be assured am either extremely high😂 or insane!!!!🐔🐔👈(get it)Fuck I love the character.😂😂I think I need a stronger word than fuck to express myself.Tyrion taught people the importance of knowledge.I used to be a bookworm in high school…haha like exaggeratively so bad that I once tripped in a ditch reading a book😂story of my life.I am not encouraging this,that was utter nonesense😑si eti what I read that day ilikuja exam hata🙅Anyway, knowledge is power that I know.There’s nothing I find intriguing than listening to an intelligent man speak his mind.I am attracted to intelligence…u guys know the word,sapi..😂jimalizieni.It was Tyrion’s intelligence that helped him survive through out when people were dying like a couple of rats.It’s his intelligence that enabled him to sit and walk with the great ey?Nelson Mandela wasn’t wrong after all.Tyrion’s famous quote “I drink and know things’will forever remain in my memory.Plus,he did not let his family name get into his head and make him mistreat people.

Be humble🎧🎼🎵🔥

Lesson 2: Knowledge is POWER!

Cersei Cersei Cersei.I loathed her hapo mwanzo.I judged her.Yes…typically we humans or let me speak for self,I judge people quite fast before I don’t understand the intention of their actions.Okay okay,yes she might be extremely evil but I will overlook that for now because there is actually so much I got from her.One,Daaaam😱that woman loved her kids.Like her love for them was so real.😂lol!am not a parent but am hoping to be one some day.We all know love is a very very very crucial feeling ey?Most people say that hate is a strong word blah blah you should think of the implications when you utter it but I want to disagree.LOVE is way stronger.Like I find it way offensive,you telling me unanipenda yet you do not even understand what the feeling is.😂😂Cersei taught me that we should always get back on those who wrong us.Okay am😂😂not perfect honestly…and revenge is a dish best served when cold.😂On a light note though…what goes round does come around🐒

Lesson 3: When you love you love❤❤

Jon Snow…huyo najua most of you would die for😂I had an argument with my friend Bilha😝telling me how crazy I am thay he’s not my fav.First off, I love his humility.A virtue that I fight so hard to maintain or attain at times.😂😂My mum always tells me…Melissa sijaiona mtu ako na maringo kama wewe😂🙅I am so sure some of you are worse than I am.Why do I say his humble…he accepted to be a steward even though he deserved to be a ranger.Plus have you ever known great people have so many enemies?(this is rhetorical btw cause it’s so obvious😑)Plus he was so good to Sam❤when people looked down on him.And he never forgot his vow to the night’s watch even when greater opportunities arose and am not talking about Ingr…..💦😝.Point is maybe If we focussed on what we had purposed on and not get carried away with the temptations that come along ,we would achieve much more.

Lesson 4:Do not let things that can wait or be avoided make you lose your course➡

There are so many people I would like to write about,Jaime👌(gorgeous🔥)…hated him at first but life taught him (hardships we could say)how to be humble,Little Finger…😱fuck that guy has lots of tricks up his sleeves,Lord Varys…😂him and his whispering birds…it’s good to be informed…😂remember I told you mimi ni mdaku so you understand why I love the guy.I could talk about the whole freaking cast but since I do not want you to get aggravated over the length of this post,allow me to take my final stride with one person…Are you already guessing?😝😝😝

Yaaaaaaaasssss!Theee Mother of Dragons🐲,Khaleesi😂(Imagine once Mauteri called me that cause I had white braids and I had no inkling of what that was,now am soooo informed naskia niko cloud 9☁☁),Breaker of Chains⛓⛓….I adore the chile honestly🙌🙌🙌🙌❤❤❤❤

From her beauty🙆her ability to think critically,her loyalty,her charisma,her love.Goddamit how is one so freaking perfect?She taught me that you do not have to lead with an iron fist to be respected.Lesson 5:Respect is earned not forced. That Lesson 6: If you want something so bad,the world will conspire to give it to you. Lesson 7:Take risks. Wawaawa kwanza when she got into the fire for the first time,I was like is she freaking insane?But she took so many risks.And If not for those risks she would not have gone that far.Of course I fear taking risks at times,Gosh failure  is amongst my worst fears but how else will we know If we don’t try right?She was never afraid to speak her mind.Another thing,her circle was small but way worth it.

Major major major lesson:Know who to trust…know your FRIENDS.

They say that trust gets you killed,love gets you hurt and being real gets you hated.READ IN BETWEEN THE LINES AND PONDER OVER THESE WORDS🌚

Daenerys taught me that we don’t have to do what others do If we know at the back of our minds they are doing the wrong things.Am talking about her dad.She taught me that sometimes we have to let go of some people or things to achieve goals…Dario😭

Ultimately she taught me:There’s no replica of you so do you and do you very well such that even when you die they will always utter your name and remember the legacy you left!!

Phew…😳am done now rest easy no more reading.It’s 2.30…still not sleepy but am glad I wrote this and I hope that even though not all of you got something at least one or two will be impacted in one way or another.

I CAN’T WAIT FOR SEASON 7!!!!

FINAL LESSON:UKISKIA WASEE WENGI WAMEWATCH SERIES…FIND OUT WHY😂😂USIBAKI NYUMA KAMA MIMI

God loves you…❤❤❤I don’t think I can say it any better😘😘😘

My greatest competition has been winning all this while!

My heart is beating so hard I can barely hear my phone ringing.Actually I do not want to imagine it’s ringing at this point in time.
I just want to hear his name.My fingers are crossed and I decide to close my eyes maybe then I will not have to face the brutal reality that there is a chance that it could not be him!Yea that’s what I do best,close my eyes.It never solves anything really.It merely makes me blind to my problems!Lame!!Arrrgh…

But I have watched him from day one,I have mastered each and every improvement he has made and I cannot even have the temerity to envision that it could not be him.

Am talking about Katleho*(Let’s call just call him Kat…as he is usually referred to)Does the name ring a bell?

I am a die hard fan of E entertainment and I would almost rather miss a date and sit down watching people walk on the red carpet.Listen to all their drama.I do not know how to explain the feeling per se…most people say mimi nimdaku,and I would see this as a factor that tarnishes my name then…but now I have accepted the fact quite positively.

Being ‘mdaku’ has made me learn so much that I would never have gathered had I just sat and waited for information to come my way.😂😂😂😂In a nutshell am trying to say I find out info for myself.Patience has never been my bestie…😁but before nifike 40 I will have mastered it I suppose.

So…when Kat and Abigael the final two contestants of the search for E host South Africa were awaiting their decisions..I think I was more nervous than were.I was literally coiled with all my shortness…😂you would have thought I was watching a horror movie.My fingers were crossed so hard,I was expecting a battle afterwards kuzitoanisha.

This will be terribly lengthy but please bare with me.Am a rather wordy person.Kat had no idea whatsoever that he would win.The ambition was there yes,but he thought Abigael was way better.I mean the lady is freakingly gorgeous and she interviewed so many people.

Kat even stopped interviewing for a moment and merely stared at Aby.She was rocking it and Kat was not the only scared one ..I was too.I have a thing with winning.I had so much hope in Kat that I could not stand disappointment.Little did he know that Aby felt the same way..she was just better at not showing it.

Kat won eventually…but this got me thinking.I am exactly like him.When doing something,I will definitely compare myself with someone and lose faith in myself because of this other person’s abilities.Little do I know that we are totally different and it is almost impossible to compare two different things or people.Kat had no idea that Aby also knew he had his share of strengths and that despite the fact that he interviewed fewer people,they were among the happiest on that red carpet.

Comparison!!!has been the greatest enemy..I must say.Biblically speaking hadn’t Lucifer compared himself to God and seen that they could share power…life would not be full of the ton of shit we are experiencing.Would you disagree If I stated that comparison is what yields jelousy most of the time?

Maybe If we stopped comparing ourselves to others,there would be less fakes because nowadays original is quite a forgotten term.Maybe If we stopped,we would have less worries of whether we are prettier or more acceptable.Maybe If we tried to compete with ourselves we would have something different.Maybe If we did not succumb so much into the worldly pressures..we would have real role models.

I don’t know where am heading with this but you notice I have so many maybes.And maybes are not enough.They are never enough.They are a sign of uncertainity and sometimes uncertainity is not what we need.We need assertiveness.

I just realised my greatest competition is Melissa.The Melissa who can achieve so much more If she gets over her fears…which are most of the times…created by she.The Melissa who has a whole life ahead of her and needs to realise she is greater than what people’s opinions could be.

Because you know what…people will always have something to say whether your life is full of success or failure. They might as well fuck off.

Guess it’s time you went head on with your real competition….YOU


I knew she was trouble when she walked in…

First of all I highly apologise that I have not written in a while….Got a little too busy but that’s not a valid enough excuse for this….Hence I will bundle you up with links…y’all will get tired of me😏

Sooo…hope y’all are cool.For those who know me very well and I mean very well,they definitely know that my life is full of so much drama..I should follow the Kardashian’s suit and start my reality show…
Oh happy valentines btw😘😘Love like never before!!!I won’t talk much about Valentines,If you want to know why …hit me up

Disclaimer:There’s high use of curse words and you may find some scenes offensive…(lol!!!don’t think too far😂😂)Do bare with me but I just have to speak my mind😳

So…back to my main course..or why I knew she was trouble.We recently got a new househelp.I am quite ignorant hence I rarely pay attention …maybe a simple hello and what are we having for dinner…😂😂😂I just don’t know what to talk about with anyone most of the time because am either busy reading a novel,watching a series or locked in my room in slumber land or just never at home.The latter carries the crown.If we could earn money by the magnitude of our sleep,I would have given Bill a run for his mulla I swear😏

Eeh so let’s call our househelp Madinna…hata sijui mbona naficha jina…😂😂but I like creating kasuspense kidogo..lol!So Madinna is from Ugandan origin..sa am for real.She’s about my age…but looks older.So when my mum letad her, she laid down a few rules.Of course I was just listening amused at the changes this chic was bringing.Ati she didn’t know Swahili so we had to speak English.I rarely speak English unless neccesitated to.Kwa hivo speaking English every single damn day would be a ton of s*** to handle.Two, I had to train her on how mum liked things done.Heeh this was stress aki.Like I just couldn’t enjoy my life undetered like I used to.

Msichana  alituonyesha vituko.Btw no offense If this blog fikias a Ugandan.I feel like am rewriting Aziza…Kai sikumbuki jina ya hiyo story but it was in Damu Nyeusi…😂😂😂oh nimekumbuka Mke Wangu.Set book lovers🙌🙌🙌yepee

So she prefers sleeping on concrete floor.Like literally kwa floor😱😱😱who effing does that.Btw I rarely speak…I just observe and make my thesis.So I let that slide.Next thing I know she’s crying ati ju nimechelewa kupika lunch.Woa woa I have nothing against people who cry….But I detest people who constantly do it.Like damn it.  Grow some freakn balls.😮😮am sorry, for those who do not know I curse a lot!

Am telling you all these…why?😂😂Hata sijui I just have to let it all out.My tolerant mother just let’s all these slip but noooooo!!!I lack patience….at the point of breaking.So I just watch her crying.

Arrrrgh!!!So you could imagine the immense joy I felt when mother couldn’t take it any more and finally agreed with me.She was trouble.

Anywho I always derive lessons from my life experiences.In as much as I seem so vexed with all these…I do laugh every once in a while from watching her numerous scenarios. Laughter is something that could not be taken away from me….😂😂😂hiyo watu walizoea.

So lessons,am starting with the positives kwanza😉

1.You can learn a few things from your enemy…she’s not an enemy per se..But heck she taught my sister Njeri a few interesting dance moves.You remember Njeri right?

2.Patience is a virtue that one has to develop…because my mother handled it so well with so much optimism and Madinna turned out to be quite exceptional especially in cleaning

3.And arrrgh!!People are different.Not everyone can hold their tears so you should just avoid them If they get on your nerves.

4.I acquired some Ugandan vocabularay and improved on my English.

5.Communication barrier is a major challenge.

Enjoy your Valentines…will you✌😘😘

And God bless~

THE GIFT🌸

I tried my best to hold back my tears as I watched her every move.She was so happy…not because she had won a lottery… loool! or had met the celebrity of her dreams(this is what would make me happy)or was daaaarn filthy rich going to spas and the likes.No😭😭she was happy because  all the neighbourhood kids had surrounded her as they admired her new dress.Mum had bought her a dress and she couldn’t deny herself the chance to flaunt it off and try out a spin.





😭😭😭I can’t hold my tears…I am talking about someone I have known for 16 years.I have watched her grooow.It almost like having a protegy.I taught her how to feed herself,how to releave herself…I watched her change into a young lady😲😲😲I don’t think you woukd comprehend this feeling.The feeling of seeing simething surpassing people’s expectations.That she would never have a normal life.That she would never be able to walk.That she would never be able to feed herself.That not a single sound would come out of her mouth. Yes that same child that screams when I tickle her,the same one that runs after me when I snatch her toy,the same one that can eat two plates of rice and meat without any assistance whatsoever!!!(SHAME ON YOU OH YE PEOPLE OF LITTLE FAITH😒)

#Flaaaaaaaaaashback#😜😜😜

From the first time I laid my eyes on her when I was only 2 and was outraged with anger when mother announced she was my little sister.She had taken my place of affection as everyone was always talking about Njeri😫and they had forgotten my existence.

As she grew up though,I noticed she was not like the rest of us.Mother actually never wanted me to carry her,she always said she was too delicate.For instance she did not crawl like we did when we were toddlers neither did she utter her first words like mama or baba.Weird right? It all makes sense now.

As I became wiser,mother told me she had a condition called autism.Of course, back then,I did not bother to know what it was all about.All I knew was that Njeri’s speech was affected and she actually moved on her limbs when she was 7. I recall that on that day I saw dad cry for the first time as he watched in awe.

If there was one thing she loved doing was dancing😂😂😂I have two left feet so I was always left on the sidelines as she competed with my mother as the 360 show was on.I would join them once in a while for the fun of it.But this small things like just joining her in her dancing ventures, joining her in a game of clapping the hands and snapping the fingers are what made her happy.You know that genuine kind of happy that you could actually feel the aura around you change.That kind of happy that is infectious.More like the kind of joy a mother has when she gives birth to her baby.

Now she is a teenager and the joy has never died.She will still follow me around even If I walk from one room to another.😂She will still force herself into my selfies and watch my every move.
Every single day of my life when I look at her , she reminds me that I have the ability to speak my mind. When I look at her and she is fully focused on the telly as I watch my soap operas,I wonder:Is she understanding the synopsis of the story? And when she laughs at something, is her sense of humor like ours?What the heck goes through her mind?

A couple of weeks ago she woke me up with sobs;she was having a nightmare.I did not go back to sleep for a while as I wondered to myself what she could possibly be dreaming of ; 😂or the other day  when I saw her running away from goats like a mad girl…It got me thinking why they terrified her.She’s a mystery thay I try to unravel every single day ,more like watching an Indian movie without subtitles and trying to figure out what’s going on.(This is probably a pathetic example😲😲😲but I can’t think of anything)

I call her a gift because she taught me that happiness can be acquired from the little things in life.From the tv shows we watch together and laugh our hearts out…to the friends who are always there for her.To the different environments we find ourselves in and try to blend in.(She was beyond ecstatic when I first took her to church…she kept clapping even when everyone else was head bent busy in prayer)

But most of all she taught me to embrace my weirdness.She is the one person who I go out with and gives everyone she meets on the road a handshake and a smile. The one person who would not be ashamed to fart in a gathering when she cannot hold it any longer.The one person who would stand in front of the tv to get your attention so that you would give her what she wants.The one person who would start crying whenever my mother and I start arguing.The one person If given a chance would speak her heart out.

The one gift the Lord gave to us to teach us the true meaning of love and happiness at all times!😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍My lovely sister Njeri.

CHARLIE…DON’T LEAVE ME😭😭😭😭

I restarted the series Two and a half men…Yea..I know what your thinking…Mel are you out of series to watch?I haven’t even watched empire…blah blah bummer…
Anywho don’t blame me I loooove comedy  and I love the good oldies…The likes of Hope and Faith ,Still Standing , My name is Earl, Malcom in the middle..Oh the good old days.

Ok so back to what am currently watching…Two and a Half men.Honestly🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈I envy Charlie Harper’s life.I mean he’s a freaking rich guy who has slept with almost a gazallion ladies not to mention hot ones(wait for it!!!don’t judge am heading somewhere with this story), he only has to compose jingles for a living,owns a mercedez ,lives next to the beach and has sessions with a psychiatrist!!!!!!Do you know how much I would want to mumble all my day’s pains and problems to someone without being judged?Hell yea …I want it soooo bad😥😥😥😥

Now you might judge me and say oh how would you envy his(Charlie) life yet he is forty and not settled.FYI😠😠He does almost get married to some chic called Chelsea who realises she’s not ready just a few months to their wedding.Alright am not here to narrate what I’ve been watching…though I would be more than glad to do so😂😂😂 I am here to say that am now about to start season 8 which is the end of Charlie.

So I’ve been searching for season 8 but damn my movie guy always keeps procastinating…but I do have season 9…bummer!!!where Ashton replaces Charlie.Ok lets say I had a heads up from a friend of mine who told me.Don’t blame me😂😂😂curiosity killed the cat but am not a cat 😂😂😂 say it…who even says that ..I know that’s what your thinking. Anyway I don’t want to watch season 9 because a part of me just can’t accept Charlie is gone.

I have already formed this mentality that after season 8..it will all be boring and I will not have a chance to be envious anymore.Stupid right…Yes I know its just acting!!Ok I have a weakness of taking movies too seriously.Am still sad that Augustus😩😩😩had to die in Fault In Our Stars…I think movies and all that stuff is driving me nuts!!!

So this got me thinking…this is just how we are.We totally refuse to let go and let better people , better opportunities come into our lives.We are so engrossed in what we lost that we don’t see what’s ahead of us…a way loving boyfriend, a better paying job or maybe your own business!!! A way sleeker (not sure If sleek is comparative) car.

I won’t deny letting go ain’t easy and it will never will especially for some of us who get too attached(Charlie whhhhhy😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭) nonetheless I do know something…God says His plans are for good not evil…to give us a better future and hope-Jeremiah 29:11

Yes your wondering why am I so ironic telling you all this yet am not willing to let go and watch season 9..its because am trying to gather courage to do so.Nobody and I mean nobody will ever replace Charlie…however am sure Ashton is unique in his own way and will bring something different to the table.I think its about time I allow myself to accept Ashton into my life.

Yes they( could be your lover,your family, your pet or generally something you hold dearly) were a part of your life and formed a great significance…but we all know some people come into our lives to stay, others to teach a couple of lessons.

Am going deeper…so stay with me🙎when I lost my dad, I thought it was the end of life and I wondered how we would survive.But trust me 7 years down the line and losing him was the best thing because I have learnt so much over the years.I wouldn’t be the Melissa I am now had he not passed on.

So…please bear with me as I take this moment of silence to say goodbye to Charlie Harper😍😍😍😍…he taught me to live life to the fullest😂😂😂and its not what your thinking…(am not talking about the nasty stuff) am talking about living to the full of your potential and doing what you do best!!! Because heck!LIVE LOVE LAUGH …Let someone say they envied your life 

😂😂😂😂ok I feel as If I totally used the wrong example for living your life to the fullest but I think I’ve driven my point home.Let go of your past and always be ready to start a fresh🙌🙌🙌🙌

Am afraid of love😱


Hahaha…so mum recently got really loving like that kind of love that you sit down and start wondering ,is she sick? Nooo..don’t get me wrong ,I know my mother loves me like nobody’s business(cliche tings,Moi Girls Nrb shame on you for teaching me this😘)…there are some typa love that you can actually tell its genuine.Like they don’t love you because you’re always paying their bills or because you’re a public figure.Genuine love does exist!😃

So back to mother, she requested me to take her shopping and as the obedient daughter I am…😂😂😂😂😂#wink#…I was more than excited to do so.So she bought me this really cool dress, then another and another and a purse and I was like wooooaaa✌hold up..Is there something your not telling me?She’s  like  can’t I buy my daughter something.That was not what got me all sweaty with suscpision…it was the fact that she did not get herself anything.

Honestly speaking I confess to being selfish.Like who does that? Don’t I know how to love?Or is it that am just afraid of such kinda love?How the heck am I supposed to bend her rules when she acts all this nice with me.

Yaaasss!!!!I would feel guilty as shit.They say love is the greatest driving force and without a doubt, I agree.The force that’s driving me craaazy aiight😣

Am afraid …afraid that I am unable to love as much as am loved.Afraid that I will disappoint those who love me.Afraid that If I truly love, I will get hurt and am tired of getting hurt.You know the saying that those who are heartless once had the biggest hearts? I can definitely attest to that.

If am get this way knowing that someone I love would fail me or hurt me …what of God😭😭😭

I mean He actually offered His only son to die on the cross for sins that He did not even commit.😭😭Do you know I still cry every time the movie plays especially during christmas once I see all the caning He got?Are we humans so “inhumane” when someone shows us love?

Doesn’t God get angry so many times when I lie like every single fucking day?Or when I plan out some sort of revenge when someone hurts me?When I insult people mentally and in person?I mean am such a sinner😫😫😫yet He still loves me unconditionally!

Yet ,He still loves us.He says His love is new every morning.Now do you see why am afraid of love?Because we humans are bound to make mistakes and hurt those who love us.My conscious can’t take that.

Am not even close to God’s definition of love…but maybe once am over this fear…I will be😞

Maybe then I will understand what is to love and forgive every single time we are hurt.Maybe I will comprehend why mum would not tire of giving me whatever within her means just to see me happy.Maybe then I will appreciate this driving force called love💗💗💗