Aargh guys!! I literally have so much to say. I missed this, I missed writing😫 you have no freaking idea. So I just finished watching the “Love is Blind” series …okay not finished per se🙄🙄because the finale is coming up next week. But of course my philosophical juices were released, of course I watched this series with a keen eye thinking about how our relationships right now are.
Normally, I steer away from talking on issues pertaining to love😅because I think it’s a very heavy topic and honestly there a lot of factors that play into it but I can’t help it😰 I would be doing myself a huge injustice by shutting up.
🤷🏾♀️😂shutting up on things crossing my mind has never been my forté , probably never will be, I’ll be damned If I didn’t speak up. I’ll tell you why. I’ve mentioned this quite a couple of times, one of the people with the biggest impact on my life is my sister💕who is autistic and happens to be non verbal.🙄Google what autism is you dumb ass (🤭oh I’m sorry, feel offended?! It’s the 21st Century, you need to be cognizant with this shit!) 😁Anyway, as I was saying being non verbal for 20 years of her life, I had to be my sister’s voice.I had to assume what she wanted because she couldn’t speak it out. Oh the things we take for granted😭 ( your voice…. that squeaky annoying voice that you hate so much is something someone is wishing for!) Oof I digress.
I was talking about love. This is how my brain works legit! There are like a thousand tabs open. So I’ve learnt a lot from this show, promise I won’t spoil for you😬🤞🏾
K, so one: relationships are actually made up of so many components. I personally value emotional connections a lot…like I can’t have a physical connection with somebody unless I feel like they’ve understood the deepest parts of me. It’s different for everyone though, there are people who have physical connections instantly, I respect that.
So after watching this show and hearing guys claim they’re emotional connected after 3 days, I’m just like what the actual hell?!! Have I had the wrong definition of an emotional connection? How do you fuck ( like the good kind, like understand them.Ah you know what I’m saying😂)with someone’s mind in just 3 days? Is there a difference between an emotional connection and chemistry?🤯🤦🏽♀️ All this just made me even more curious.
Hmm…then there was the whole aspect of being physically in tune with each other, being a perfect “fit” huh👀 The fact that some couples felt that they were not physically attracted to each other. So I asked some of my friends…but but we’ve seen many arranged marriages work! Yet in most cases the people involved are not necessarily physically attracted to each other at first but they make it work…how? Why is our current generation then finding it so hard?🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
I thought that If you love someone’s personality then eventually you end up finding them attractive. You love them everything about them, right?😮ok almost everything.So then I think the society does play a very huge influence, subconsciously or even consciously on our decisions. Like those times when a girl vibes with a guy for instance and asks her friends…”What do you think, is he cute? ” Usually the friends’ opinion has a huge impact on our ultimate decision or bias. So why? How can this be changed? Clearly, If a show finds the need to remove the aspect of choosing people based on their outward appearance then there’s a big issue!!! 🤔Don’t you think so?
Another issue I thought about is the double standards that comes with appearance.😂Guys, I’m doing Psychology so most of my knowledge is from a Psychological perspective😂😂so just breathe!Okay…so I’ve realized that whenever a female disregards a guy for her looks, she’s judged… 🙄🙄🙄ever heard of the saying” guys like what they see, girls like what they hear”🤔🤦🏽♀️Oh so you’re trying to tell me that girls 🤔🤔can’t decide whether they like someone based on their appearance but oh well guys should… cause that’s how they’ve been predisposed! 😌mere nonsense!Obviously there’s underlying sexism that’s denying women the right to be decisive and assertive on what they want.
Something else I thought about was our pattern of dating.Ok now I’m gonna spoil😂😂sorry my bad, but such is life. I thought about Cameron who had dated a black girl prior to meeting Lauren for five years.( this is my fav couple btw 😍) Was it a huge coincidence that he ended up falling for a black girl again? This is of course could be completely not related but do we normally subconsciously look for traits from our previous partners in our current ones? Do we use our previous partners as point of reference? 🤔Do we do it with partners who we cherished or even toxic ones? You know this whole idea of ” You deserve the best” Everyone tells you that especially after a heartbreak. But If you think about it , “what really is best?” What’s best for me is not necessarily what’s best for you💁🏾♀️.
It’s relative!! I might have lacked attention in my previous relationship so then it’s safe to assume my best would be someone who would give me attention… but then your friends’ definition of best is someone who will spoil you with gifts🤔which is not necessarily what you yearn for.
Ok I now I’ve “blabbered” a lot, but these are questions I’ll probably search for answers to….and If you have any input, please indulge me.
😭🤧I still think it’s that love is the most beautiful feeling ever and If you get to experience it, cherish it!! 😅but good things come with a lot of sacrifice and pain and all that shit.😂Okay now I’m done.
Ps: the title is a song I really like😂I sang it a lot during a tough time. If you know you know😌